Marcus' Matchmaking
by Teh Cruxis Angel Mithos
Summary: Marcus promised to find Eliwood a wife, but no one he finds seems suitable. [Random Eliwood pairings.] Complette!
1. Chapter 1

This fic is based on Eliwood and Marcus' A support. Well anyway this is my first humour fic so don't expect it to be that funny.

**Warning:** Possibly OOC, some EliwoodxHector and gags EliwoodxMarcus.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Fire Emblem. So don't ask to buy it of me. You have to live with writing a disclaimer and so do I.

oOoOoOo

Shortly after his father died Lord Eliwood became the Marques of Pherae. However, he did not have a wife because the tactician had decided to get him an A support with Marcus instead of a girl and therefore Marcus decided to do a little matchmaking for his Lord.

"Mi'lord Eliwood! I have found you a perfect wife!"

"Marcus… I'm not sure that the girls you keep bringing me are…" Eliwood was lost for words. He did not want to offend his old friend but Marcus had to stop trying to find him a wife. "The last girl you found for me was… a man…"

"Lord Eliwood I think that Lucius would have made a fine wife for you…" Marcus noticed the look Eliwood was giving him. "This one will be a lot better." Marcus stepped to the side and there stood…

"Gwenavire?"

(A/N: I have no idea how to spell that.)

"Isn't she a bit… young? Wouldn't it be better if I had someone older?"

"Well yes but… have you seen your mother?"

"Marcus!" Eliwood scowled at the older man.

"So I'm guessing that's a no then."

"Of coarse it's a no!" So the disappointed paladin escorted the little girl out of Eliwoods room.

The young Marques sighed. "That Marcus, he'll stop at nothing to get me a wife."

oOoOoOo

The sun rose over Pherae and Eliwood awoke to a knock at his bedroom door.

"Come in." He called.

"Lord Eliwood! I have found her! She is perfect!" Next to Marcus was an old lady that Eliwood could remember from his past travels.

"Marcus… That's Hannah."

"Yes Mi'lord, you said you wanted someone older."

"Not this much older!"

"Fine, fine… I'm sorry if I wasted your time Hannah." With this the fortuneteller exited. "So Lord Eliwood, what age group would you allow?"

"Well I suppose from Florina's age to about yours."

"Ah good choice Mi'lord." He bowed and exited.

"He sounds like a waiter…"

Very few minutes passed before Eliwood received another knock at his door.

"Come in." He called once again.

This time only a girl came in. She had wavy purple hair and was wearing a long orange dress. A book covered her mouth.

"Um who are you may I ask?"

"Oh, how rude of me," She replied in a squeaky and obviously face voice, "My name is Marculina."

"Marculina? That's a rather… odd… name. Come here, let me see your face."

"Oh no my Lord you must not!" She backed away a little.

"What? Why not?" By now he was very concerned and slightly suspicious. But, because he's Eliwood, didn't yet realise who it really was.

"Uh…" The girl started to worry. "I… you… you mustn't abuse your beautiful eyes with a poor sight like me."

"Please let me see the rest of your face, from what I can see you are a very beautiful young woman." He tried to persuade her.

"No! No! No! If I were to show you you would be so shocked! I could not bear it!"

"Listen you!" Eliwood was getting annoyed. "I almost married with a dragon! You hear me? Her name was Ninian! Nothing! I repeat nothing! You show me could shock me!"

"Please don't get so angry." She cowered away from him.

Eliwood got up and pulled Marculina onto his bed with him her book fell out of her hand but she burrowed her face into Eliwood's chest.

"You have _got_ to be the best girl I've looked at in a long time, now please show me your face." Eliwood gently lifted the girl's chin but it felt odd, it felt… hairy… "Your… your not really a girl are you?"

"No Mi'lord." She answered in a masculine voice. Eliwood pulled at Marculina's hair and it fell from her head leaving short hair of the same colour.

"Marcus?"

"Yes Mi'lord?"

"Please get off me." Marcus gingerly stood up and started to leave the room. "Oh and Marcus…"

"Yes?"

"Lets not tell anyone about this."

"Of course Lord Eliwood."

oOoOoOo

"L-Lord Eliwood?" Marcus found Eliwood sparring in the palace gardens.

"Yes Marcus?"

"I must apologize for this morning, and so I will make it up to you. I have found you the perfect wife! Presenting… Lady Eleanora!"

"Okaaaay. First of all: That's my mother. And secondly: How did you even get her to go along with this?" Eliwood almost screamed.

"Well I didn't tell her until just then when I told you…"

Eliwood was not amused, nor was his mother.

"Ah, but she does look the right age for you." He continued seemingly rather pleased with himself.

"Perhaps it would be better if I found my own wife maybe?"

"Lord Eliwood surely you jest?"

"No Marcus, it would be best for me." Marcus looked at Eliwood in a way to show that he was crushed. "Of course you're choices were very good… I almost fell for Lucius, but…"

"No Lord Eliwood, you are right. I will give up. Come Mi'lady." He led Eleanora away from Eliwood as he got back his training.

oOoOoOo

Marcus lay on his bed and stared up to the ceiling. "Lord Eliwood told me to give up, but I cannot!" He closed his eyes and thought. "He has rejected every girl I've brought to him… perhaps, perhaps he prefers boys? Yes! That must be it! There can be no other reason for him to reject the lovely ladies I brought him." Marcus remembered everyone he had chosen: Lucius, Eleanora, Hannah, Gwenavire, Marculina, Vaida and that rather attractive morph he stole from Nergal before they killed him…

"Then I will go get him Hector!" He exclaimed almost out of nowhere. "I hope he goes along with all of this, after all, it was even a shock for I, Lord Eliwood's faithful servent, to fing out that he likes boys."

oOoOoOo

"Lord Hector. It's good to see you are well." The paladin tried to stall.

"Marcus! You said you had important news to tell me so please spit it out!"

"Of course. It's Lord Eliwood. He is a homosexual. And I think he would quite like for you to be his partner…"

Eliwood? Gay? All these thoughts buzzing round in Hector's head. And he wants _me_ to be his partner? I never knew he felt the same way I did…

"But I told Lord Eliwood that I would find him a wife… so that means that you will have to be the girl in the relationship."

"No, no Marcus. That's fine. Now let us go see him."

Hector and Marcus set off back to Pherae to tell Eliwood about his new 'wife'.

oOoOoOo

"Now Lord Hector I must warn you, Lord Eliwood may be a little surprised to see you."

"But you know he definitely likes me, right?" Hector asked suspiciously.

"Yes, yes, or couse." Marcus signalled Hector in to Eliwoods bedroom.

"Right! I'm going in." Hector entered the room closing the door behind him.

He smiled as he wandered down the castle corrie doors. "Marcus you're a genius aren't you?" He proudly asked himself. Only to be answered by an aggravated scream coming from Eliwood's bedroom.

"MARCUS!"

oOoOoOo

Wow! Another short fic gets hit in the head with a fish for not making long fics That's it! Who threw the fish? It was you points at reader yeah you! Well do you see anyone else here? Grr… you better review, or I'll never forgive you! Only kidding, you don't have to if you don't want.


	2. Chapter 2

Yay! I finally updated! Bah! I was stuck on ideas and stuff… I guess I used all the bachelorettes (As they will now be referred to.) in the first chapter. Oh well, time to kill some time.

**Warning: **Possibly OOCness and obviously more Eliwood pairings.

**Disclaimer: **TCAM does not own Fire Emblem, Eliwood, Marcus and anyone else that will appear in here, because she is poor.

oOoOoOo

Eliwood stared down at his eggs. He moved them from one side of his plate to another and tried to avoid eye contact with Marcus.

"Lord Eliwood you must tell me what the problem with all the wives I'm finding you is."

"I would hardly describe Hector as a wife." Eliwood stood up as his servants took away his plate.

"Wait Mi'lord! You didn't answer my question!" Marcus called as Eliwood left the breakfast hall. "Lowen! Come here!" The paladin demanded.

"Y-Yes?"

"Why do _you_ think Lord Eliwood has rejected everyone I have brought for him?"

"Well," Lowen began. "Would you have married any of the girls… uh boys… uh people you brought Lord Eliwood?"

Marcus placed his index finger on his chin and thought for a moment. "No, I suppose I wouldn't have. So why don't you think of someone?"

"He was quite fond of that girl Ninian wasn't he? Maybe she will…" Lowen was cut of by Marcus' laughing.

"Ninian? Oh mercy. I think you're forgetting that Lord Eliwood tried to kill her once. There's no love there."

"But Marcus you know that was an accident!" Lowen protested. "I think they really like each other!"

"Even so. She is a dragon. We can't have that. Lowen you're not much help."

"Hmm… Then what about Lyn… or Fiora?" He suggested.

"No no. They're both married. Don't you know anything?" Marcus sighed. "Kent and Rath… We'll have to do something about that…" He smiled slightly.

"Or maybe you should only work on Lord Eliwood's love life. Or better yet no ones."

"Watch your mouth Lowen! Or I'll work on _your_ love life."

"N-No! I'm quite happy with Rebecca thank you." Lowen hurried back into the kitchen before Marcus got any more ideas concerning him.

oOoOoOo

"Hi Mr. Marcus!" A young teal haired girl stood at the door to Marcus' bedroom grinning at him happily. She had been Marcus and his friend's tactician on their travels a while back.

"Ah hello Ginny." He smiled at her, half greeting her and half something else that Ginny couldn't recognise, but it looked funky.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" She asked him almost too afraid to wait for the answer.

"Well, I was just thinking. You and Lord Eliwood were quite close during our journey weren't you?"

"Yes…" She replied now very scared.

"Well I was wondering if you would like to be his wife." He said hopefully.

"WHAT?" She screamed. "Nu-uh I have a fiancé now." She said folding her arms.

"A fiancé? But you're only, what? 17?"

"Sooooo?" She asked.

"Um, who's the lucky guy?"

"I'm not telling you. But you'll find out soon. He's coming down to see Lord Eliwood as well but got a little caught up in stuff. And yes, in case you were thinking of asking, he was someone in our army. Now if you'll excuse me." She skipped away down the hallway.

oOoOoOo

"Lord Eliwood. You know Ginny came down to visit you. She's grown up a lot and looks very pretty…" Marcus began talking to Eliwood over lunch.

"Don't even think about it." He said sternly.

"My ears are burning." Ginny came in grinning. "So, um, do you have any spare vulnaries? I feel like someone's cast elfire on them." She said rubbing the sides of her head.

"No. But I'm sure your fiancé does." Marcus glared, angry that his idea was not working.

"Geez Marcus sorry for falling in love." She replied sarcastically. "So what's for lunch?" She sat down next to Eliwood. "Is there cake?"

"No… there's chicken and potato."

"Aww I'm eating out." Ginny stood up and grabbed her cape from the coat rack conveniently placed in the lunchroom. "Bye."

"As you can see Marcus she doesn't like me in that way." Eliwood pointed out.

"Tell me Mi'lord. Do _you_ have anyone in mind?"

Eliwood thought about it for a bit. "Well maybe Ni-"

"Nils? Nino? Lord Eliwood those two are just children and Nils is a dragon. I'm shocked!"

"Well I was going to say Ninian but seeing as you have a problem with dragons I suppose I should take it back." He mumbled.

"Well don't you think it would be hard for dragons to um… mate… with humans?" Marcus asked.

Eliwood blushed. H remembered when his father had had this kind of talk with him when he was younger. He did not need it again with Marcus.

"Excuse me."

"A distraction! Thank you Elimine." Eliwood thought silently.

"Ah Lucius." Marcus looked up at the monk. "Did you need something?"

"Well yes. If you wouldn't mind could someone take me back to Etruria It's a long walk and I don't have a horse."

Eliwood saw a glint in Marcus' eye. Uh-oh.

"I will escort you back." Marcus said happily. "Come. Lets go Lucius."

oOoOoOo

Two days passed before Marcus returned to Pheare. As Eliwood had expected, he was not alone.

"Who is it this time Marcus?" Eliwood looked at him out of the corner of his eye.

He heard light footsteps before looking up at one of his old friends. "Marcus told me that you missed me. He brought me to see you." Priscilla said, her cheeks slightly pink.

"Did he now?" Eliwood didn't get too annoyed. It could have been worse. After all, Marcus could have brought Raven back for him to marry. "So Priscilla, do you want to go out somewhere tonight?" He asked. Ok, he didn't love her but maybe if he went out with her Marcus would leave him alone.

"I'd love to." Priscilla smiled before taking her bags and walking inside with Eliwood.

"Ah. For once my plans succeed." Marcus said to himself.

"Yeah I bet they're really going to like each other." Ginny nodded.

"When did you get back?"

"Two days ago. I only went out for lunch."

"Right. So you think I've really done it this time?" He asked hopefully.

"Sadly no."

"Well I don't see what the problem is."

"You sound very childish Mr. Marcus." She laughed. "You'll find out soon enough."

oOoOoOo

"Thank you for the meal Lord Eliwood. It was very nice." Priscilla commented.

"Your quite welcome Priscilla." The two said there good nights and Eliwood left Priscilla so that he could take a walk.

He began to stole around the gardens and soon was lost in thought. "Priscilla really is a lovely girl. I wonder why I never liked her to much before." He was cut off when he came face to face with a large horse. Eliwood looked up slightly so he could see who was riding it. "Um… Hello Raven. What brings you here?"

"I came to find Priscilla. You wouldn't happen to know where she was would you?"

"Yes she's in her bedroom. I just took her there after our date… oh crap."

Raven glared "Oh crap indeed."

oOoOoOo

Yeah Eliwood probably wouldn't say 'Oh crap' whatever. Sorry this was short, again. If you have any ideas as to who Marcus can set Eliwood up with please, please, please email me (Not leave them in a review because I don't think that's allowed.) I'll remember to give you credit and I'll update faster. Thanks. Reviews?


	3. Chapter 3

I was out at a posh restaurant today (because it's my birthday, yay!) and I thought 'Posh, hmm… Eliwood! Uh don't ask why, then I realised that I really needed to update this. I am thanking **Maxmagnus20019** for the ideas in this chapter, you rule! And other people's ideas I will use in later chapters. I must apologise, I know you were probably all expecting some gory Raven-killing-Eliwood-chapter, but Eliwood is our main character (except for maybe Marcus) so he can't die. Uh, sorry I really can talk about nothing for a long time huh?

**Disclaimer: **Fire Emblem is not property of me.

**Warning: **You should know by now.

And on with the fic!

oOoOoOo

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Marcus stood up and walked over to his bedroom window. He drew the curtains just as another stone hit the glass. (They had glass in those days right?) The paladin looked down and saw Eliwood looking rather injured.

He opened the window and lent out. "Lord Eliwood whatever happened?"

Eliwood put a finger to his lips telling Marcus to be quiet. "Don't talk so loud. He might hear you."

"He?"

"Yes. Raven came here looking for Priscilla. Why did you take her without asking?"

Marcus looked insulted. "Lord Eliwood I would never… I only borrowed her without asking."

"IT'S THE SAME THING!" He shouted giving away his hiding place. "Uh-oh."

With that Raven jumped out from behind a bush and stuck his sword to Eliwood's throat.

"Why are you attacking me? Marcus was the one that took Priscilla in the first place!"

Marcus shrugged. "I'm not the one that took her on a date."

"Isn't your job to protect me?"

"Yes Mi'lord. It is also my job to find you a wife." Marcus stated.

Eliwood sighed. "No. It's. Not. Now if you wouldn't mine helping." Eliwood signalled to the impatient Raven standing above him.

"Oh right. Harken! Isadora!" Marcus called two of his knights.

"I may also need a cleric." Eliwood pointed out.

"Hmm, cleric you say?" A devious grin spread across Marcus' face. "Wait right there Mi'lord." Marcus disappeared out of his room.

Eliwood knew that that grin was not a good sign, but to be perfectly honest, he was too scared of the enraged mercenary to really care.

"Lord Eliwood!" The noble looked passed Raven to see Harken and Isadora standing weapons in hand, but not really looking all that threatening (considering they were still in their pyjamas.). Wait! And there was someone else too!

"Priscilla!" Raven called to his sister. "You're ok."

"Yes. Lord Eliwood only took me out."

Raven glared at the teen covering in front of him. "Stay away from her." With that he walked away from the castle bringing Priscilla with him.

Eliwood sighed. "And I thought Marcus found a decent wife."

"She is perfect Lord Eliwood!" Marcus arrived pulling a girl with long pink hair down to her hips wearing a light blue nightgown.

Eliwood blinked. "Do I know you?" She began to put her originally down hair up into pigtails and soon Eliwood recognised her. "Serra? Shouldn't you be in Ostia?"

"Hector sent me on 'paid vacation'. I came to visit." She squealed. "Marcus told me about how you want me to be your wife!"

"WHAT? I mean, did he now?" Eliwood tried to maintain his manners. "I'm sorry Serra but I only like you as a friend."

Tears began to roll down Serra's eyes. "A friend? You mean I came all the way down here, all the way from Ostia and you only like me as a friend? Well I'll have you know I still like Erky, but Marcus told me to lie about that so that you wouldn't get jealous. As a cleric I made vows not to lie. So I broke my vows as a cleric to be friends?"

Marcus tutted at Eliwood. "Poor girl." He said under his breath, but still obviously loud enough for Eliwood to hear.

Eliwood gave in. "Fine one date but…"

"Ooh yay! You're no Erky but at least I get to be queen!" She jumped up and down excitedly.

"Well not exactly…" Eliwood tried to tell her.

"Queen Serra. Doesn't it just roll of your tongue?"

"Yes. That does sound nice." Marcus answered her. "I will go and make the wedding arrangements!"

"Wait, wedding arrangements? I never said that… I only meant one date then I would take you back to Ostia. And why don't you marry Erk anyway?" Eliwood asked.

"Erk's going to marry Ginny." Serra scowled. "I thought that marrying you would make him jealous."

Eliwood sighed. "Serra I do like you, I'm sure one day you will find someone just for you. But I guess it's just not me and apparently it's not Erk either. Now can we please go to bed. I haven't got any sleep yet."

"Ah yes sleep, very important. Lord Eliwood we will discus this more in the morning." Marcus signalled for Harken and Isadora to go back to their rooms as he followed close behind them with Serra.

Eliwood, now the only one left, began to list all the wives Marcus brought him in his head. Were they even getting any better? Probably not. It was too late to bother thinking about this. The young noble shook his head and returned to his room.

The sun shone into Eliwood's bedroom, and thus, waking him up. 'Maybe I should stay in bed today.' He thought to himself. 'Marcus may still be annoyed with me about last night. But then again I'll have to get up sooner or later, might as well be now.' He entered the breakfast hall quietly where he found Marcus eating breakfast.

"Lord Eliwood please sit down." Marcus called to him. Eliwood looked across the table and noticed a girl sitting and eating too. Another wife. Come to think of it, now staying in his room all day didn't sound like that much of a bad idea.

oOoOoOo

Ooh who will it be this time? Uh, sorry this was so short but I have to go to bed now and this seemed like a good place to leave of, but it's so short! Bah! I mean the fic itself is probably less than one thousand words. Eep! Should be in bed! I hope I'll update soon considering that tomorrow is my last day of school before a weeks break, yay! So tallyho scones crumpets and whatnot. Reviews? Pwease?


	4. Chapter 4

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I said quickly but my laptop crashed and all my documents got deleted. So I lost this, chapter two for 'My Life As Told By Raven' the sequel for 'Karel Vs The Tooth Fairy' and some random one-shots I was writing. So yeah I was pretty ticked. So anyway I'll shut up now.

For the warning and disclaimer you can just read the other chapters. I am still using **Maxmagnus20019**'s ideas because I can't think for myself (damn me!) Oh yeah and one really weird one from **Raven Re-incarnated** who wont tell me his new account (boo!)

oOoOoOo

"Lord Eliwood please sit down." Marcus called to him. Eliwood looked across the table and noticed a girl sitting and eating too. Another wife. Come to think of it, now staying in his room all day didn't sound like that much of a bad idea.

"Um… Farina?" Eliwood glanced at the girl. "Did you offer her money to marry me?"

"Yes Mi'lord." Marcus replied happily.

Eliwood sighed. "Well at least you're honest about it. Farina you should probably go home."

"What?" Farina stood up knocking over her chair. "I'm not leaving without my money!"

"Yes, yes. I will have a carrier pigeon get it to you in a week." Marcus waved her off.

"You can't just offer to pay someone to marry me." Eliwood turned round and headed back to his room.

"That's the forth time this week that he hasn't eaten his breakfast. Lowen wont be happy."

oOoOoOo

Later that day Marcus approached Eliwood during his sparring session carrying something behind his back.

"Lord Eliwood! I have taken everything that you've said about the wife you want into account. She's not too old. Not too young. Not your mother. Presenting… Tiddles!" 1

Eliwood took the tabby cat away from Marcus and put it on the floor. "She has to be human."

"Ah but you never said that." Marcus stated.

"Well I'm saying it now!" Eliwood, now very frustrated, stormed off like a little child.

"Hmm… human huh? Well I guess it's a good thing that Farina was not the only Pegasus knight that I asked to visit." Marcus began to laugh very OOC and evilly scaring away Tiddles and all the other cute lil' animals that inhabit Castle Pherae.

oOoOoOo

Ginny was sitting on her bed waiting impatiently for her fiancé. And, if you paid any attention in the last chapter, you would know that that just so happened to be Erk.

But having Ginny marry Erk left us with some problems. For example: Who will Serra, Priscilla and Nino marry?

Well we already know that Raven doesn't seem to like the idea of Priscilla marrying anybody so that takes her out of the picture.

I suppose Serra can marry Matthew, yes what an ingenious idea! And Nino can marry Jaffar… but I'm not going to make it that easy, well, not for Nino at least.

I'll let you in on a little secret. Jaffar married some other girl who looks a lot like Nino, act a lot like Nino, but somehow still manages not to be Nino. I guess she can always marry Rath… No, no, he's married to Lyn. 2

So now Nino is sad and alone. Or is she? The answer: No. She is living happily with her uncle Canas, (who I will have you know did not actually did, Fire Emblem is just trying to trick you!) his wife, and her cousin Hugh.

But she still only loves them as family. She has no one to love as a husband. Or does she? The answer: No. I'm sure she has a secret crush on someone who will one day love her too. If they don't I will be killed by all the Nino fans.

But now I have drifted far enough away from our story. So Ginny was waiting her Erk. But what she didn't know is that he was late because his travel buddy Wil sold their horses for onions and now they had to make their way back to Pherae on foot.

My story is beginning to make no sense. Wil is from Pherae to begin with. Well let's just say he went to visit his good friend Erk.

And now I have written nine paragraphs on what I could have summed up in two words: Erk late.

Right well now that we have that sorted we can go back to our story. (And this time I mean it.) Ginny was tired of waiting so she began to read a light tome. Why? Because she wanted to be like Renaud: pointless and hated by most. She was almost done reading 'lightning' when she was so rudely interrupted by Marcus coming into her room.

"Sorry to bother you but I need you're help."

"It's not about me marrying Eliwood again is it?"

"No, no we all know you're marrying Erk, Serra told us."

"Damnit! Stupid Serra! So, what do you need?"

"Well you see. She wont come near me."

"Oh? And who's 'she'?" Ginny asked.

"Florina."

"Well, yeah. Florina wont go near men. Ad I hope you weren't trying to set her up with Eliwood."

"What if I was?"

"Well she wont go near him either. I think you should find someone else… like Nino."

"I have the most brilliant idea!"

"You're going to get Nino aren't you?"

Marcus gasped. "How did you know?"

Ginny sweat dropped. "I must be able to read your mind."

oOoOoOo

"Hey Mr. Marcus wait up!" Ginny called as Marcus mounted his horse.

"Ah Ginny. Come to see me off?"

"Uh… no. But… um… maybe Nino wasn't such a good idea. Isn't she a bit young for him?"

"Ah I guess you're right. Tell me, do you have anyone else in mind?" He asked her.

"No…" Ginny began to mentally list all the girls that had once been in their group. "How about… Karla!" She said triumphantly.

"Marvellous! 3 I will get her at once!" And then Marcus sped off in the general direction of Sacae.

"Wait a minute." Ginny thought to herself. "If Marcus thinks it's a good idea then it must be a bad idea… what's wrong with Karla? KAREL!" Nooooo! Marcus come back!"

oOoOoOo

1 Yup Tiddles was Rave's idea. He is random.

2 Don't ask about the RathxNino pairing, just a dream I had once -shudders- scary.

3 Marcus must say marvellous at least once in the game. If he doesn't I think he definitely should.

I wrote a new ending for this after reading my friend **Dark Mistletoe**'s profile. She says she doesn't like the pairing DorcusxKarla. I think she spelt Batre wrong. Hehe first Raven and now Karel even scarier. Hooray for older brothers. So on a final note I wont make this too repetitive. (Well I have the next bit planned out but I don't want to give anything away.) Review?


	5. Chapter 5

I noticed that people want me Marcus to get Morphs for Eliwood to marry (Limstella, Sonia, Ephidel… no wait no one said Ephidel.) pretty smart idea despite the fact they are all dead (Who cares? Have you even seen the number of MatthewxLeila fics out there? She's dead.) So anyway, who am I thanking for this idea? Oh yes! Narakusnoone!

If I haven't used your ideas yet I am not trying to be mean and neglect you, I just haven't got round to them yet. It's not my fault. Blame Marcus. -Hides behind Marcus-

**Warning: **yeah you should know by now… don't read this if you are one of those nifty fan girls that are totally in love with Eliwood (but that's just my opinion.)

**Disclaimer: **Do I look like I own Fire Emblem? No, I didn't think so.

oOoOoOo

"Mardus id goding to ged Karda." Ginny explained to Lowen. "We had to stod hin."

"Um…" Lowen tried to make sense of what she was saying. "Why are you talking like that?"

"I had a code. Achoo!" Ginny sneezed into her food. "I don't think I wand to ead dat." She pushed her plate away and took out a piece of paper.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm goding to draw id oud for yoo." Unfortunately Ginny was not the best artist in the world. Her finished piece was a stick man on a stick horse speaking to another stick man with two long black hairs. "I cand drawd."

"The man on the horse is Marcus…" Lowen guessed. "And the other one is Karel!"

"Node," Ginny shook her head, "Dee udder one id Karda."

"Vaida?"

"NODE! Kar-da!"

"Ta-dah? He's getting a magician?"

"Node! Achoo!" Ginny began to write something on the paper.

"Karla?" Lowen read.

"Yed! Karda! We had to stod hin or Kardel will kill Ediwood."

"Okaay… when did Marcus leave?"

"Erdier todayd."

"Well I don't think he got as far as Sacae…" Lowen took out a carrier pigeon that he was sitting on. "One of Pherae's villagers sent me this just a second ago."

"Uh-hud." Ginny gave Lowen an odd look as if to say now-I'm-afraid, or maybe nowd-I'm-adfraid to be precise. She began to read the letter attached to the pigeon. "Grade-rodding?"

"Yes."

"And youd think dat dat's Mardus?" She asked.

"Yes, I do."

"Whyd?"

"Hmm… not sure. But I will go warn Lord Eliwood just in case."

oOoOoOo

"Yes, thank you Lowen I will be ready for when Marcus returns."

"Are you sure Mi'lord? Did you have breakfast today?"

"Yes and no."

"You never change." Lowen bowed and exited.

Eliwood sighed. "I will have to start lying about eating breakfast, I guess it's a good thing that I'm not from Sacae." He laughed at his own rather crap joke.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" The Pheraen noble looked up as he heard a scream he could recognise as Lowen's.

"My joke wasn't that bad!" He shook his fist angrily at the closed door.

"Lord Eliwood I would be happy to spar with you sometime, you don't have to pick fights with the door." He noticed that Marcus was standing in the doorway.

"Uh hi Marcus, hey you wouldn't happen to know anything about this would you?" Eliwood held up the letter that Lowen had given him.

"Grave-robbing? That's preposterous! Now presenting your new wife…"

Eliwood sighed.

"…Sonia!" He began to back away.

"Didn't I tell you shortly after you brought me Limstella that I'm NOT marrying a morph?" Marcus started to remember that day.

"_Marcus, firstly Limstella is dead and secondly she's a morph!"_

"_Yes Mi'lord."_

"_I'M NOT MARRYING A MORPH!"_

"Oh right… _that…_" Marcus looked up as an idea struck him. "But Sonia doesn't like to admit she's a morph."

"She's still dead! Why are the Black Fang buried in Pherae anyway?"

"I think it was… Wil's idea, but I will have to get back to you on that. Sorry for bothering you Mi'lord." Marcus bowed and exited.

oOoOoOo

Eliwood stared at the Christmas tree Ginny had made him put up. Marcus would probably work extra hard to find him a wife for a 'Christmas present'. Most of the knights of Pherae and employees of Castle Pherae were sitting around, and for some reason Renaud was there too.

The bishop looked up from the book he was reading. "Christmas trees are edible, they're a good source of vitamin C too…" He said randomly.

"On the eighth day of Christmas Lord Hector sent to me, eight thieves a-thieving!" Ginny sang happily.

"I don't even know why were celebrating Christmas, it's a religious tradition, not ours of course because we worship Saint Elimine…" Renaud stated.

"Five guiding rings!"

"Shut up Ginny."

"Four lightning tomes!"

"Shut up Ginny!"

"Three steel swords!"

"Shut up Ginny!"

"Two heavy spears!"

"SHUT UP GINNY!"

The tactician was quiet but only for a second.

"And a Dorcas and a Bartre!"

Erk bashed his head repeatedly on the wall. "Why did I marry you?"

"I dunno… On the ninth day of Christmas Lord Hector sent to me, nine dancers dancing!"

Renaud looked up again. "Didn't you have a cold when I arrived… or did you learn how to use the restore staff to cure it?"

"Yup! Seven wyverns flying! Six nosferatu's!"

"Santa only has 0.0012019 seconds to visit each house… that's because on time zones…"

"I don't care! All of you people are crazy! I'm going back to live in Etruria!" Erk yelled.

"Aww don't be evil. You said you'd stay here 'til Christmas." Ginny complained. "Hey! Why don't we play a game?"

"Ok, how about we blindfold someone, get people to hit them and then they have to guess who it was?" Erk sighed. "I'm going to my room."

"Ew! How morbid! Oh well, on the twelfth day of Christmas Lord Hector sent to me, twelve fighters fighting! Eleven clerics healing! Ten Lords a-sparring!…"

oOoOoOo

And that's all we have time for, I started this chapter in November… it took me way too long. Just in case you were wondering, all of the random facts Renaud said were true and the game that Erk suggested was actually a popular game in medieval times, it was called 'Hot cockles'. Singing the twelve days of Christmas Fire Emblem style is a good way to annoy people… it's my 'seasonal annoying routine'. But I must be off now toodlepip, Merry Christmas (even if it is a little early.). Reviews?


	6. Chapter 6

Um… hello! I know, I know this took me too long to update… andmy excuse is futile. Ok, firstly, with the whole Renault Renaud thing… well I checked my game about fifty times and it definitely says Renaud… also I spoke to a French girl who calls him Renaud too. I figure that most of my readers (if not all) are American yes? So I think that there must have been a name change between the American and European copies of the game. I don't think there are any other changes with names and what not… but I really am tempted to start calling Legault Legaud so Renaud (Renault) is not alone. Actually Renault is a make of car… Ford is too but the Forde in Fire Emblem has an E… hmm there's something going on here…

Oh yeah! And I'm not responsible for anyone's parents yelling at then if they tried to eat their Christmas tree. So no reviewing saying 'ZOMIGOSH! I GOT GROUNDED FOR TWO WEEKS FOR EATING OUR CHRISTMAS TREE! I BLAME YOU TCAM!'

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Fire Emblem, nor do I own the car makes 'Renault' or 'Ford' that I will stop bringing up as of this point.

**Warning: **Uh… this chapter has Vaida in it (not just mentions of her like chapter one…) RUN! EVERYBODY RUN!

oOoOoOo

_Dear Diary,_

_Christmas was… bad. I know Marcus is doing his best to find me a wife but its really-_

IYE IST TE GOAT RITT YO!1!$

_That was Ginny._

NOW ITT WADDNTT ITT WAD ELLEEEEWOD!P!

My name is spelt Eliwood. So anyway what was I saying? Oh yes! How bad Christmas was. My oh my! (Do I sound like Legault?) But anyway I wondered why just about ever girl in Pherae was coming up to me and kissing me. (And some boys too but we wont get into that…) When I looked at myself in a conveniently placed pond and saw that there was mistletoe stuck to the top of my head. I blame Marcus and-

IYE LYEK A COOOKEYES DEY IST YUNMEY NDE SNAIL GOAT/

Ok, I can't concentrate with Ginny in the room, I'm going to find Harken to baby-sit her.

Yours faithfully

Eliwood

"What do you mean 'find Harken to baby-sit her'? Harken's boring!" Ginny whined reading over the last thing Eliwood had written.

"Ok, Isadora?"

"Isadora scares me."

"Lowen?"

"Lowen makes me eat! Can't he see I'm trying to diet so Legault will like me!"

"What?" Eliwood stared at Ginny like she was crazy. "Are you feeling ok? Is the cold coming back?"

"I said nothing!"

"But you said you wanted Legault to like you…"

"What?" Ginny looked shocked. "I am happily married and in love with Erk! How dare you even suggest such a thing cur?" Ginny tuned on her heel and left the room slamming the door behind her only to have it re-opened by someone just as angry.

"Lord Eliwood!"

"Yes Marcus?"

"Vaida!"

"Where?" Eliwood turned round and drew his rapier. "Come out Vaida!"

"No mi'lord!"

"Then why did you say she was here?" Eliwood put his weapon back away and turned to face Marcus.

"I was thinking… you have given me good reasons as to why you wouldn't marry everyone but her. Tell me now!" The paladin demanded.

"Well I…" Of course Eliwood didn't want to admit that the only reason he wouldn't marry Vaida was because she was ugly. "Well I guess I don't have a reason."

"Aha! Then you can marry her! Marcus wins again!"

"…Fine. Relax… I hear you. Like a child, you are…"

"…"

"You're older than me! Have you forgotten that, too?"

"…Sorry. I apologise."

"You… scared me there."

"Huh?"

A/N: Ok, yeah I'll stop ripping off Raven and Lucius' B support now…

"Well then, I will go tell Renaud… uh Renault to perform the ceremony. In fact, if we don't know what to call him things will get complicated… I think I'll get Lucius to do it. Damn you TCAM and your in-ability to choose a name to refer to that bishop as!"

"Um Marcus…" Eliwood began to back away. "Are you schizophrenic?"

"No! Now will you excuse me while I go find Lucius and Vaida."

Eliwood groaned. How _was _he going to get himself out of this one?

oOoOoOo

Somehow Marcus managed to get Vaida and Lucius to show up overnight and the wedding was held the next day.

"Eliwood do you swear to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth?"

"We're not in court Lucius."

"Ah yes! Ehem, Eliwood, do you take this woman, Vaida, to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

'Please help me.'

"I-I do."

"And Vaida, do you take this man, Eliwood to be your lawfully wedded husband."

'Please help me.'

"I do."

"Do you promise to love and comfort one another, to honour and keep another in sickness and in health is prosperity and adversity forsaking all others, be faithful to each other as long as you both live?"

'Please _someone_ help me.'

"We do." They replied in unison.

"If anyone has any objections, speak now or forever hold your peace."

'Please, oh great Elimine, if you love me you will help me.'

Everyone was silent.

"The ring ple-"

"Stop the wedding!"

oOoOoOo

Sorry, short chapter and a cliffe, you all hate me now. -Sighs- I have two groups of extremists reviewing this. Half of them want Eliwood to end up with Ninian and the other half want him to end up with Lyn… no one seems to have an opinion of him marrying Fiora… hmm… But I'll admit that by the way this fic is gong it looks an awful lot like he's going to end up with Ninian, I don't want it to look like that; if Ninian could marry anyone other than him she would be married off in this already.

I should probably do a vote or something 'Who should Eliwood marry?' Cause you know I don't want to disappoint too many people. Ninian? Lyn? Fiora? Vaida? Random Pheraen villager number 34? Or are you a yaoi fan who wants him to suddenly realise he has feelings for Hector? I want your opinion! Thanks.


	7. Chapter 7

Wow lots of people voting. I've decided not to tell you who's winning (ha!) but feel free to vote again. Me thinks one should set up a forum for the votes and what not, that would be convenient ne? (Don't ask why I was talking freaky-like there, I just was.)

**Warning: **Same old same old.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Fire Emblem, I do not own its characters and I do now own that evil psychotic man sneaking up on you.

oOoOoOo

"Stop the wedding!"

Ginny stumbled through the doors at the back of the church pulling one of her socks on, followed by Legault and a rather tied up Harken.

"See Legault! I told you we'd be late, you shouldn't have spent so long dying your hair!"

"I told you not to tell anyone about that! And it's your fault we're late anyway. You spent forever choosing an outfit. Does it really matter what colour makes you look thin, you always go with the green one in the end."

Ginny pouted. "You just hate me because my hair's not greying, grandpa."

"First 'uncle' now 'grandpa' I'm not that old you know?" The thief sighed.

"What do you want Ginny?" Marcus asked impatiently. "Eliwood and Vaida are trying to get married."

"Oh right. Say it Harken, ya' dumb babysitter!"

"No, I refuse to say it."

"Say it or I'll have to get Legault to light brand you!" Ginny threatened.

Harken gave in. "Vaida, you can't marry Eliwood because… I love you!"

"WHAA?"

"I love you too wyvern feed!"

"AWW!"

"But what about the wedding?" Marcus asked getting annoyed.

"Oh right, _that_." Ginny said making a weird hand gesture. "Well why don't Legault and I get married instead?" She grinned deviously.

"What? No Ginny I think you must be forgetting the plan," Legault began, "Remember? Harken falls in love with Vaida, Isadora has no one left and falls for me."

"Ooh, well that's good too. Maybe Canas will marry me…"

"Canas is already married, and so are you."

"We're bigamists." Ginny stated proudly.

"Mmm-hmm, isn't Canas a little old for you?"

"No way Legault! He has a middle aged charm." The tactician began to get starry-eyed.

"Wait I'm confused." Eliwood was no longer standing in front of the altar but now in front of Ginny and Legault. "Why did you help me Ginny? I though you didn't like me."

"Well that's all very simple my dear Eliwood. Would you like me to draw a picture to explain it?" She asked taking out a pencil and piece of paper.

"Um… no, thank you. I'm told your drawings are… not great."

"Pfft! Who told you that? Lowen?"

"Yes, actually."

"Whatever! Well you remember when I first became your tactician?"

"Yes…"

"And you remember how I got Marcus to kill everyone?"

"Yes…"

"And you remember how after eight battles he only gained two experience?"

"Yes…"

"And you remember how he and Oswin tied me to a rock and threw me in the sea when we got to Badon?"

"No…"

"Oh then that must have just been that dream I had… well that's why I hate him."

"You had a dream about him throwing you in the sea?" Eliwood grinned.

"Shaddup! Let's just keep that a secret from now on… like that affair I had with Wil."

"What? You had an affair with Wil?"

"No! Never!"

oOoOoOo

"So lets go through it one more time, you were actually going to marry Vaida? Just because Marcus told you to?" Ginny asked in shock.

"Yes, just like I told you the other fifty times you asked that."

"You mean just because Marcus told you to you were going to marry Vaida?"

"Yes!"

"You were _really _going to marry Vaida? And all it took to get you to say yes was Marcus asking you to?"

"YES!"

"Oh ok then. But wait! There's still one thing confusing me. You were really going to marry Vaida? Just because-"

"Ginny!" An angry purple haired mage burst in through a door at the back of the room dragging Wil behind him by the ear. "What's this I hear about you having an affair with Wil?"

"Wil!" Rebecca burst in through another door. "What's this I hear about you having an affair with Ginny and an affair with me despite the fact we're both married women?"

"Rebecca!" Lowen burst in through yet another door. "What's this I hear about you having an affair with Wil just because I had an affair with Priscilla?"

Everyone went silent.

"Lowen!" Raven fell out of the ceiling. "What's this I hear about you having an affair with my sister and marrying me girlfriend and cheating on her with my sister? I'll kill you like I killed Eliwood!"

"Um… I'm still alive." Eliwood waved.

"Like hell you are!"

A/N: If you like Eliwood I strongly suggest you skip this next paragraph.

"Eliwood I am going to jump up into the air, do that little flippy thing and come crashing down on you with my sword. Then I will do that again three more times because I'm using a brave sword. Oh yeah, and each time I'll get a critical because I have an A support with um… Wil! Then I'll get that weird boy who wears short-shorts even in winter to play that snazzy song for me and then I'll repeat steps one to four. Wait! Hold that thought! I'll go find the strange boy a brave flute so I can repeat steps one to four three extra times! Lastly I'll feed the little chunks of dead Eliwood to a wyvern… but it would have to be a rich wyvern to have to money to eat nobles… BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT!"

A/N: ok safe now kids.

Eliwood shrieked.

"Impossible!" Marcus burst in though a window. "No wyvern is rich enough to eat Lord Eliwood!"

Oswin slammed open one of the many doors hitting Ginny in the face in the process. He scoffed. "I'm sure I could find one that was. But finding a wyvern that could afford to eat Lord Hector? Now _that_ would be a challenge!"

"Wyverns don't eat nobles… they eat Canas' spell books." Ginny said sounding very drunk… or just like she had been hit on the head, yeah lets go with that one.

"Ridiculous! Every wyvern wants to eat Lord Eliwood!"

"Blasphemy!" Lucius rushed into the room hitting Ginny with the door again. "_All_ wyverns want to eat Lord raven!"

"Lord Hector!"

"Lord Eliwood!"

"Really? I didn't see Vaida's wyvern trying to eat him during the wedding."

Marcus gasped. "Oh no you didn't!"

"Heheh, oh yes I did."

"You want to take this outside?" Marcus asked taking out his silver lance.

"Yeah!" Lucius opened his shine tome. "Whenever you're ready."

"Actually, I'd rather not fight a girl." Marcus grinned evilly.

"Ooh, burn!"

"BERN? Look out Heath they've found you!" Ginny waved her arms around wildly before collapsing.

"Well, that shut her up."

oOoOoOo

Sorry this is so short and… random, well actually it wasn't too short but nothing really happened in it. It's probably like that because I wrote half of it at school and the other half when I was listening to old-school-pop (which probably has a proper name that I don't know.) I suppose the only good thing about this chapter was that it didn't take long to update, oh yeah and my Lord brother (Yes I am being Priscilla) actually laughed when he read this, which is a big achievement because my Lord brother never laughs.

I think I'm about to suffer from writers block… so this may not be updated for a while, yeah just warning you. I'm going to bed now.


	8. Chapter 8

Ok this took less time to update than I thought it would, yay?

Also I've decided to start dedicating chapters to random people because it makes me feel cool. So this chapter is dedicated to Lilikoifish (because she has reviewed ever chapter as of so far). To Princessdaisyroxs (because we talk about random things which I'm sure in some wacky way helped me update faster). And to Dark Mistletoe (because she brought me hot soup when I was ill).

**Disclaimer: **I still own nothing.

**Warning: **I still warn you of the fear and terror this chapter will probably contain, also this warning makes no sense.

oOoOoOo

"Rebecca, Lowen, I _am _your tactician and once again I wish to ask for your assistance as noble fighters."

"Yessir! Rebecca saluted.

"It will be dangerous, but I have the most amazingly super-cool, awesomely fantastic, greatly great, horrendously magical, superbly rock-on, terrifyingly dazzling, immensely wonderful, so in-genius that it will rock your mismatching socks all the way off, so evil that it'll make Nergal look like Lucius himself, (un) original idea!"

"And that is…?"

"We're going to find Eliwood a wife from 'The real world'!"

Lowen and Rebecca both blinked, not that you could tell that Lowen blinked but we'll just assume he did.

"So what is this 'The real world'?" Lowen asked bewildered.

"Perplexing isn't it?" Ginny scratched her chin. "Well let me explain, you see, first we have our world in all it's Elibe-y goodness then there is the place that the author usually forgets the name of but she thinks it might be Magvel. Next there's the place that the author really has no idea for a name… but she does know that a boy called Ike lives there. And lastly we have 'The real world'. Such a terrible place." She shook her head in pity for all the people forced to live in 'The real world'.

"Then why should we find him a wife from there?"

"Because I said so. Now stop asking questions boy." Ginny snapped.

"But if it's such a horrible place why bother?"

"Well you see dearest Rebecca," Ginny began in a much lighter tone "in 'The real world' there are lots of people known as 'fan girls' and some of them are 'Eliwood fan girls' This means they'll be happy to marry him."

"And what if Lord Eliwood doesn't want to marry a 'fan girl'?"

"Shut up Lowen I'm sick of your futile questions!"

oOoOoOo

"Gun fishen." Marcus read of the note stuck to the top of Eliwood's head. "If weer not bake spoon means peranas eight us… or crocidillys. Frum Ginnie, Loween und Rebeckah (also Wil cus he felt like cominn)."

"They didn't look like they were going fishing when they left… they were all carrying weapons and nets…"

"Well everyone uses nets for fishing milord, you're paranoid."

"No, Heath's paranoid; I'm cautious."

"Of course milord."

oOoOoOo

…But what Eliwood and Marcus didn't know was the Ginny, Lowen, Rebecca and Wil actually _were_ fishing.

"RAWR! I caught another one! Fear me world, my name is Ginny!"

Everyone turned round to face their insane tactician. "I though we were going to 'The real world' though."

"BWAHAHAHAHAR! Stop changing the subject Wil, you're clearly just jealous that I've caught more fish that the lot of you put together."

"Well, maybe but… hey! These fish are made of rubber!"

"Accusing me of using rubber fish to make it look like I had caught more fish than you? Demon!"

"Well I didn't say anything like that but-"

"Pfft! We're going to 'The real world'!"

How did it happen? It's impossible to say, it's even more complex than explaining how all those Mary-Sue tacticians somehow ended up travelling with Lyn one after the other after the other. A huge blue and orange blur appeared seemingly from nowhere began to suck our four brave heroes up and dunked them out in a world so horrifying it made onions cry! -GASP!-

"So this is the 'The real world'…" Wil said looking around.

"What is? I can't see!" Lowen waves his hands around frantically until two men in white coats decided to silence him with their silencers of doom!

"Right lets go find some 'fan girls'."

So that is why if you went out yesterday you may have heard three Fire Emblem character look-alikes and a girl dressed in green yelling 'Are you sick of reading heart wrenching EliwoodxNinian, EliwoodxLyn, EliwoodxFiora and EliwoodxHector fics? Do you think that YOU would make a better wife for him? Then come with us! The crazy psycho people who have candy, puppies and Lord Eliwood himself!'

And if you did just so happen to hear them, and if you did just so happen to go with them; then I'm terribly sorry but I'm afraid to say that you have become a victim to my horrible writing.

It wasn't long before there were four nets filled with hyper ecstatic girls (because everyone loves Eliwood just that much). Ginny once again summoned the huge blue and orange blur to take them back to Elibe.

oOoOoOo

"Right so here's the plan. I'll go for a walk with Eliwood, thus distracting him while you two cook dinner for him and the guests."

"Right away."

"And what about me?"

"You Wil, can come and find me when dinner's ready."

"Right! Um… and how do I find you?"

"I don't know, you just do."

"Why do we need to cook dinner in the first place?" Rebecca asked.

"To show Marcus that we actually know how to play matchmaker, unlike him just bringing any old girl and shoving her in Lord Eliwood's face. Ha! Matchmaker, whatever."

"Um… did I miss something?" Everyone turned around to face Eliwood who was standing in the doorway."

"Uh… nothing at all my duck. C'mon, lets go for a walk and repress some memories!" Ginny began to pull Eliwood out of the room mouthing the words 'Don't forget the dessert' to Rebecca and Lowen as she left.

oOoOoOo

"Wasn't travelling fun?" Ginny asked as she skipped along a few paces in front of Eliwood. "Hey! You remember that time when Matthew was chatting up Serra before Leila died, don't you?" (1)

"Um… no."

"Oh, that was fun. Do you remember that time when we threw Guy of the side of that pirate ship to see if we could make him even more seasick?"

"Um… no."

Ginny snorted, "_How _can you forget something like that?"

"Are you sure that wasn't just a dream you had?"

"No, no. I remember it all so clearly, Matthew had to jump in and save him from drowning. Then there were MatthewxGuy fics being written for weeks afterwards about how Matthew only saved him because he loved him."

"I'm sorry but I remember none of this."

"Eliwood my boy, you have the memory of a fish."

"What was that?" Eliwood asked turning round and drawing his rapier.

"What was what?"

"I heard a noise."

"And you're going to fight whatever it is off with a rapier… oh threatening." Ginny retorted sarcastically.

"Well, you think of a better weapon then."

"Already found one." Ginny said picking up a stick lying on the ground. "Come out with your hands up fiend! We have sticks!"

oOoOoOo

Yeah that cliffe was way too cliché, but I'd love to know who or what you think is in the bush (It's not Wil!).

(1) It's TRUE! Matthew can get an A with Serra before Leila dies, and he says 'She's not bad looking…' then they have an ending together! And not just any old 'Nils and Ninian' non-romantic ending, they go out! -GASP- For all I know that could be the last conversation they have before they have their 'lil' ending, what kind of crap fiancé is Matthew? Hmph!

Ok, so for the next chapter Eliwood will meet the fan girls also I will be using an idea Mullenium Master said about using fan characters or OC characters (My memories far from perfect) so if you have an OC/fan character/whatever then tell me about them, something like:

1. Name

2. Looks

3. Personality

4. (A) reason(s) why Eliwood wouldn't marry them.

And they could be starring in the next chapter of **Marcus' Matchmaking!**


	9. Chapter 9

Yo! Ok, I have a decent excuse for the update this time! Firstly I got writers block… now both my hands are injured so it takes forever to type and what not. But wow, I have over 100 reviews!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Fire Emblem, the song 'is this the way to Amarillo' and Setsuna (She is property of the lovely Lilikoifish).

**Dedications: **To my friend Roxy, because she noted down all the little ideas that popped into my head when I couldn't type at all.

oOoOoOo

'Cailen!' The bush yelled before a man dressed in silver amour stepped out. "Blast! I was sure this was the way to Cailen!"

"Wallace?" Ginny asked clearly very confused. "I haven't seen you since we were travelling with Lyn two years ago."

"Aha! Ginny! If you're here then this must be Cailen!"

"No. This is Pherae. See? Eliwood." She said pointing to her companion.

"Blast!"

"Ginny! The dinners ready!" Wil yelled as he came to a halt next to Wallace.

"Aha! Wil! If you're here then this **must** be Cailen!"

"No. This is Pherae. See? Eliwood." He said pointing to Ginny's companion.

"Blast!"

"Ginny! We need to talk!" Kent yelled as he rode up to the tactician and her friends on his trusty steed.

"Aha! Kent! If you're here then this **MUST **be Cailen!"

"Um… yes, you're right. I _should _be in Cailen. Away steed!" (Because the author doesn't know the name of Kent's horse.) He commanded as they began to gallop off in the direction that he came from.

"Wait! Kent!" Wallace called as he began to follow the paladin slowly. "Is this the way to Castle Cailen?"

Ginny opened her mouth and was about to start singing 'Is this the way to Amarillo' except changing the word 'Amarillo' to the words 'Castle Cailen' before Eliwood and Wil shook their heads knowing what was coming next and thus silencing her.

"Wait up you young whippersnapper! Damn! Kids these days are too fast for and old man like Wallace.' He said as he began to wander off in completely the opposite direction to where Kent had gone. "I guess I will just have to find my own way to Cailen."

"Just don't end up in Bern." Wil called waving after him. "So anyway, dinner."

"Ah yes, _dinner_." Ginny smirked and began to drag Eliwood back to Castle Pherae.

"Why do I have a bad feeling about this?"

oOoOoOo

"Okay you can take your blindfold off now." Ginny said as they entered the dining room.

"I'm not wearing a blindfold you dolt."

"Ok whatever, just open your eyes then."

"LORD EEEEELLLLLIIIIIWWWWWOOOOOOOOOODDDDD!" The girls sitting at the dining table all gasped, a few of them fainted but the others ran over to glomp Eliwood.

"What the- Omph!"

"Heheheh, They like him Wil."

"Yeah… no kidding, hey! Who's that?" Wil asked pointing to a girl sat in the corner of the room. She had black hair tied in a ponytail, looked Japanese and was carrying a samurai sword.

"Uh… I dunno, I don't remember finding her in 'The Real World'."

Wil shrugged. "Well I guess some people just turn up for no reason… like Geitz, he was pretty pointless."

"True. Hey Geitz!" Ginny called over to the mysterious girl who just glared back, that kind of I'm-Raven-fear-me type glare, you know the one.

"I'm not Geitz." She stated bluntly before a bucket of water fell on Ginny and Wil's heads. "And that wasn't me."

"Oh… Ok." Ginny said oblivious to the suspicious-ness-ness in the girl's voice. "It was probably Eliwood, damn him booby-trapping his castle." She began to stalk off to find said lord.

"Sooooooooooooo, what's your name?" Wil asked happily.

"Setsuna."

"Wow, I bet you'd like to marry Lord Eliwood, huh?"

"Um no not really…"

"Cool!" Wil began to drag Setsuna to whereever it was that Ginny was heading to.

oOoOoOo

The next morning Eliwood made his way sleepily down to the breakfast hall, he decided it was probably best not to question who the girl sitting with Ginny and Wil was.

"You have something in your face." She told him politely as he sat down.

Eliwood began to rub his face causing Ginny and Wil to snicker childishly.

"What?" He asked gazing across the room to look into a long mirror on the wall, looking back at him was a green faced noble, he looked down at his hands. "Ok, who put paint on my hands?" He asked annoyed.

Just then a bucket of water fell on his head.

"Um… that wasn't me." The girl said standing up.

"I never said it was… So, have you come to try and marry me as well?"

"Yup, she has." Wil smiled.

Eliwood quickly lost his temper "Can't you just leave me to find my own wife? First Marcus now you two?"

"Don't forget Lowen and Rebecca, they helped too." Ginny stated matter-of-factly.

"I don't care! I'm going to my room!" He yelled as he sulked off out of the room.

"Oh my, it appears the Demon Kind has returned…" Lady Eleanora looked up from her copy of 'Magvel Monthly Magazine'. "Oh, and err, poor Eliwood." She shook her head in sympathy. "Maybe I should find him a wife! Yes! Mother knows best!" She shot up and darted out of the room.

"She's crazy…"

"You can talk." Wil laughed.

"Excuse me?" Ginny looked appalled. "I'm completely sane… But not Sain, or Kent… BUT I AM LOWEN!"

"Ok no, just no." Setsuna stood up clearly freaked out by the tactician. "Now if you'll excuse me I'm leaving." And she did leave, almost as if she was never there in the first place… except when a bucket of water fell on Ginny's head… that proved that she had been there.

oOoOoOo

Marcus and Ginny were walking though Castle Pherae's gardens, Marcus was the first to speak.

"You know, our matchmaking didn't go all that well."

"No… I guess not, I'm sure Eliwood will marry one of the people his mother brought for him."

"Who were they again?"

"Ninian, Lyn, Fiora, Hector and a random villager."

"But Lowen said that Lyn and Fiora were married."

"Yeah! It's all Lowen's fault!"

"So do we tell Lord Eliwood that we quit?"

"Um… I guess so…"

oOoOoOo

Well in case you can't tell, the next chapter will be the last, if I haven't used your ideas it's because I'm a lazy pirate that sits in my boat all day long and deserves to be shot… but they were all lovely ideas I assure you. I have a bit of the final chapter written out already but I still don't know who Eliwood should end up with… I know that either way someone's going to hate me…


	10. Chapter 10

**You must read this: **Ok, firstly a wise reviewer told me not to just count votes alone, so I didn't. But I'm just going to say that the pairing wasn't easy to pick, in fact, I just **picked a name out of a hat** because I can't be decisive for buttons, I just hope my friends who disagree with the pairing don't hate me forever.

Second, I may make a sequel to this, it will have various pairings not just EliwoodxWhoever, if you'd like me to do that then please tell me because I'm not going to do it if no one thinks it's a good idea.

**Disclaimer: **Not mine.

**Dedications: **Anyone that's actually still reading, especially anyone who has reviewed/given ideas/faved you may all have cookies, flowers and little toy Ravens' (Because I know you're all Raven fanboys/girls even if you don't like to admit it.)

Enjoy.

oOoOoOo

"Lord Eliwood… I give up!" Marcus flapped his arms around helplessly before staring at his reflection in the mirror. "No no, this will never work Ginny." He shook his head and took a seat next to the girl.

"Ok, let me try." Ginny stood up and waltzed over to the mirror "Mi'lord Eliwood, I personally don't consider myself one to go against your orders, but please! Matchmaking for you is just too hard and I'm afraid that Marcus and I must resign and go back to simply being your jeigan and oh-so-adorable tactician."

The paladin applauded. "Wonderful! You truly are a suspected mind!"

(A/N: 'Suspected mind' is the title you get if you are a D rank tactician… not that I would know…)

"Right, so lets go tell him then."

oOoOoOo

"Now son, I know the thought of people matchmaking for you probably makes you cringe uncontrollably but I think I may have done it. I hope you're not too surprised by who I chose for-"

"I'm not, in fact, I saw them all staying in the guest rooms earlier."

"Oh," Lady Eleanora looked disappointed. "Well you might as well come in then." She opened two large doors and stepped inside the room.

There stood Lyn, Ninian, Fiora, Hector and…

"I don't even know who you are." Eliwood said pointing towards a girl with blonde hair and a brown dress.

"I'm Random Pheraen Villager Number 34, silly!" She giggled.

"Isn't she a darling? So, who would you like to marry Eliwood dear?"

"Excuse me, but both Lyn and I are already married." Fiora stated.

"Oh really?" Eleanora tried to act innocent. "I had no idea, but um… If I may ask: are you really happily married?"

"Yes, we are."

"Oh, you're absolutely sure that they're not cheating on you?"

"What are you implying?"

"Nothing, nothing. Oh Hannah!" She called.

The fortune-teller shuffled into the room carrying a crystal ball.

/On Dread-Isle/

"Right, it says here that Nergal has returned and we need to stop him." Kent looked around for any signs of evil.

"That sounds like a bad parody." Rath said.

"Ah evil!" Kent yelled as a group of bats flew out of the trees and at him. "Save me Rath! Ginny always used Sain not me, I'm too weak to die!" The cavalier jumped at Rath knocking him to the ground.

"…" Rath said.

/Back in Castle Pherae/

All that Lyn and Fiora had seen was their husbands in the explicit position, not the events leading up to it. Eleanora smirked, Lyn looked annoyed, Fiora was trying to hold back her tears, Ninian was expressionless, Hector appeared to be having a staring contest with one of the walls and Random Pheraen Villager Number 34 was eating a cupcake.

"_Well_, fine then."

"So, who will it be son?"

"Um… I really don't know… I'm just a little confused, perplexed if you will."

"Then you go to your room and come back down when you've decided."

oOoOoOo

"I could marry Ninian, that would sure spite Marcus. I guess I could marry Lyn, I'm a little scared of what will happen if I don't pick her. Fiora's another choice, that may stop her grieving over the loss of Kent. I can't believe I'm actually considering this, but at least I know Hector likes me… the others may not. And what about that random girl? She may be my soul mate. I just don't know!"

"Lord Eliwood!" Marcus burst through the lord's bedroom door followed closely by Ginny. "We have something we need to tell you."

"Yes?"

"Mi'lord Eliwood, I personally don't consider myself one to go against your orders, but please! Matchmaking for you is just too hard and I'm afraid that Marcus and I must resign and go back to simply being your jeigan and oh-so-adorable tactician."

"Um… well that's great and all but now I have my mother matchmaking for me as well."

"Oh I heard. So… who you going to marry then?" Ginny asked getting excited.

"I don't know…"

"Aww, c'mon it's just the girl… or boy that you're going to spend the rest of your life with, how hard can it be?"

"Very?"

"No Marcus, wrong answer. You must have some idea who you'd like to be with." The tactician snapped her fingers showing that she had an idea. "We should do a dating show! Nar nar na na nah! Nar nar na na nah!" She began to hum some sort of dating show theme tune.

"Um… no Ginny, that's probably not a good idea."

"Well, then just choose. THINK DAMN YOU!" She shouted shaking the redhead's shoulders violently.

"Whah! Stop that!"

"So who is it then?"

"Well I guess out of the five I like Ninian mo-"

"Perfect! We'll tell Lady Eleanora!"

'Well, I guess that means there'll be a wedding in a few days…'

oOoOoOo

"I'm not sure I want to go along with this." Eliwood said while flicking some dust of off his outfit.

"Pfft! You said you liked Ninian, and now you're complaining about marrying her, whatever next?" Ginny asked rhetorically.

"I said I liked her, not that I loved her. But I suppose I should have expected an arranged marriage from the day that I was born."

"Exactly, now quit your belly-aching."

Eliwood sighed. "How long until the wedding starts?"

"About ten minutes?" Ginny guessed.

"Then I should head over to the church. Are you coming?"

"Eliwood my duck, I wouldn't miss it for the world."

So the two old friends headed of towards the church of Pherae so that Eliwood could finally be wed.

oOoOoOo

Shortly after the ceremony Marcus and Ginny were walking together a short distance away from Castle Pherae.

"So you see Marcus, Eliwood didn't need your help to find a wife after all."

"Hmm, I guess not but still…"

"Marcus!" Said paladin turned around coming face to face with Lady Eleanora and what seemed like an endless army of rather peeved off soldiers.

"Marcus, I myself am sick of you horrendous matchmaking and I'm sure that a lot of people agree with me." She signalled to an assortment of people whose loved ones had been victims of Marcus' matchmaking. "So I've decided that the only thing to do is run you out of Pherae. Guards!"

"Oh, well that's just great." Was all he could manage before being chased out of sight by Eleanora's army.

Ginny sighed and smiled. "Well I guess everything turned out alright then. Marcus is fleeing for his life, Lord Eliwood and Ninian are happily married and their son Roy will grow up to be a great hero… or maybe just the poor man's Ike." She paused, "It's all good. But as for me, who knows. Maybe I'll find my true love in Sacae."

So Ginny headed off in the general direction of the plains stopping only once when she saw the most terrifyingly amazing sight.

"My gosh! That cloud looks like Lord Pent!"

- The end?

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